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(no subject)

Jan. 18th, 2010 | 02:09 pm

Just broken.

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(no subject)

Dec. 13th, 2008 | 06:47 pm
music: Song to the Siren - This Mortal Coil

The Prodigy + a good few years = Shit. This is where you agree whole-heartedly. Their new song makes me want to kiss an Asian man so passionately that my ear drums pop out. Of course I wouldn't do that because I like women and I'm a one woman woman. Speaking of women, I seem to attract the crazies at work. A lady came to me the other day "DESPERATELY" needing a certain type of cheese, because if she didn't get the right type her partner wouldn't be very happy. Apparently he's very controlling, doesn't like her to wear any perfume besides Chanel No. 5 (so she puts different stuff on in the morning after he goes to work (because she can't afford Chanel No. 5) and then scrubs it off before he gets home)and sorts out all of her finances. Now she gets an $800 pension and apparently her bank account was $18 or $19 short, but when she went to the bank, the teller went through everything with her to make sure that they hadn't taken the extra money out. She was reluctant to suggest to her partner that he may have miscalculated, but told me that he may have gotten confused, as he was trying to do other calculations at the same time. She asked me not to mention it to anyone. I showed her where the cheese was and wished her a Merry Christmas. Today, as I was walking back from lunch, another lady stopped me and asked me where the milk was. After I told her, she said "Now I'll tell you...have you had your Christmas party yet?". When I said that we had, she followed me and told me to suggest the Bronco's Leagues Club for the Christmas party next year, because they have a $13 dollar buffet for 700 people and if you're a member there you can go in to the prize draw to win money, but she didn't know if they'd draw my number "of course". Apparently there are different things on every day leading up to Christmas and you can win great prizes. Her husband works in the TAFE across the road from the club, which is, I assume, why she knows so much about it, but it was like having an ad follow me around. I guess it breaks up the monotony of working in a supermarket.

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I have a big deck.

Dec. 2nd, 2008 | 06:44 pm

I was in a jewellery store (I just typed "srot" and it reminded me of "scrotum" (the word, not an actual scrotum)) recently and one of the sales guys spotted my tattoos. He asked what they meant and then showed me a picture of his tattoo. It's a Fu (?) dog and will end up being a half sleeve when it's finished. It made me want to get another tattoo. It also made me realise that I miss myself. For whatever reason, lately, I haven't been doing any of the things that make me happy with myself. And I'm afraid that if I let them go, I'll get lazy (I'm already lazy) and my brain will become permanently glued to the couch in my head that it's currently occupying. So if anyone has any book or music suggestions, they'd be mighty welcome.
On the home front...I have one. I'm nesting. At work we use roll cages and when you get a bundle of 5 empty ones (and I'm not suggesting that any one of us are empty), you join them together using lovely blue straps and then they're "nested". I have Suz, Shadow (the cat), Nin (the fish) and Planty McPlantplant (the plant) in my cosy little bundle. The difference between us and roll cages is that we aren't being sent back to the DC to be ripped apart, loaded up and sent in different directions. I love my bundle.
I'm enjoying work at the moment. I especially like lunch. English is my managers' second language, and when he calls "savouries", "flavouries", I have trouble keeping a straight face. I stepped on a little old lady today. She crept up behind me while I had my head in the freezer and when I stepped back to close the door I stood on the back of her shoe and jammed her in between my back and her trolley. She must have been about 408. I could have popped her spleen. Actually a dairy department would be a good place to shuffle off this mortal coil. Someone could just push you in to the freezer to save you the embarrassment of stinking up the place.
Now I'm off to cut my hair. Wish me luck.

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(no subject)

Jul. 18th, 2008 | 06:30 pm

Actually, my life has gone from relatively empty to what the fuck am I going to do with this extra bit of life because it won't fit in to the life bag that I was allocated. So I stuffed it in my ear and it's currently sticking to the inside of my head, like the rest of whatever is in there. There's a ride at Dreamworld called the Gravitron (ooer innit, innit) and you stand upright against the wall while it spins faster and faster until you're stuck there. That's almost exactly what's happening in my head. Every now and then my brain vomits out something and to escape the horrible smell all the little words come rushing out of my mouth. I am officially a busy person. And sometimes that's crap. Yeah. Apparently my brain stopped puking.

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(no subject)

Jul. 18th, 2008 | 06:28 pm

Hold me closer Tony Danza.

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(no subject)

May. 27th, 2008 | 05:24 pm

I can't decide whether my ears are ringing or there's a high pitch noise coming from the computer. I haven't posted for ages and I'm not going to today. Hope your lives are all moving along spiffingly. Petrol prices are ridiculous!

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(no subject)

Apr. 24th, 2008 | 09:23 pm

I was wondering if old people find it hard to keep their mouths closed. I caught an old man looking at bacon today, mouth agape, and with the most foul look on his face. There was nothing wrong with the bacon...

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(no subject)

Apr. 22nd, 2008 | 08:32 pm

Dear Meg Ryan,

What have you done to your face?

Love Mel

P.S. I work in a fly graveyard.

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(no subject)

Dec. 29th, 2007 | 10:07 am

I don't know what to type. I haven't said anything of substance for a good while. I don't feel like I've had much time to reflect. I need to clean. I'm off work until the 3rd of January because I have something wrong with my back, possible glandular fever and there may be something wrong with my bowel (or something in that region). Anyway, I'm sad about Benazir Bhutto, Suz is great and I'm uncomfortable in this chair. The End.

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(no subject)

Dec. 15th, 2007 | 05:51 pm

My dog is a bit flatulent.

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